I am here for you, not me

What I mean is if there is a problem in you life. Or struggle like I do with some problems, I learned to use my mind and the internet to get a hold on it. I took depression by it's head, ripped it off and fed it to the dogs. I made sure if it keeps coming back, I will destroy it. I am tired of living with the fact of ants, negative thoughts that reoccur freq and keep coming back. Those things I found certain foods, and your lifestyle will greatly affect that. I am certain and you probably are wondering, but how. I will tell you, and you aren't going to like it.

I learned to defeat depression and get a better outlook and positive from someone I meant a while back named Natalie. She gave me a list of to do things, things that I need to work on and things i need to improve on. She also told me to write down everything that made my life the way it was from birth to now, and BURN IT. Send it to the cosmos to let them help you. Anymore, keep doing it. I can't tell you how much that helped me, I have no clue why or how but it did. Also take a paper, phone or whatever and start a diary. In that diary I start off with date, month, year, and time. As sometimes you might want to return to that diary on same day and continue, note time.

Lastly, one thing that helped me was the lord. I know this part you won't like this but he keeps influencing my life decisions. Every time I ask him for help with a job, next day I get threatened and forced to quit or fired for pathetic excuses, all because he is there and the almighty one. I learned to pray to him, as all my friends are unreliable. They literally only helped me once or twice, than left my life. Granted they got a better life, a women and everything they need to move on. But to be friends you should stay friends and keep in contact at least. But atlas only one whose been contacting me lately is the lord, and she is the one that guided me through my life and to do what I am doing now. I know this isn't your deal, but at least I'm trying to get the message across there is no more love in this world.